Princess Priscilla’s Dragon at the Door by Dr. Philip L. Levin

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Eighteen-year-old Princess Priscilla has a lot on her plate. Her father is off on a Quest; a dozen marriage-intent knights have taken up residence in her castle; her larder is out of ingredients for magic spells; and a thirty-foot-long, fire-breathing, purple-scaled dragon has settled in at her front door. With her pet troll in hand, she journeys to seek the help from the Wizard of the Mystic Forest, only to discover he's turned a bit senile.

"Oh, Goblin Turds!" as Princess Priscilla would say.

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